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The Art of Choosing Your Bridesmaids

The Art of Choosing Your Bridesmaids

If you’re planning your wedding, you’re probably asking your self these questions (among hundreds of others!): How do I choose my bridesmaids, How many bridesmaids should I have? Do I have to by bridesmaid gifts?

Your wedding won’t be complete without special friends and family members to stand by your side as attendants. From adorable flower girls to charming ring bearers, to bridesmaids and groomsmen, you have a lot of details to consider when it comes to your Wedding Party.

What do your best friend from high school, your sister, your cousin and your roommate have in common, besides knowing you? They are all possible contenders to be members of your wedding party, of course!

By the time you are planning your wedding, you know who the bride and groom will be, but there is a whole cast of characters that still needs to be identified and included in the planning for your special day.

One of the big decisions in putting together your wedding party is how many attendants you will have. For a formal wedding, etiquette says that you should have 6 to 10 bridesmaids and groomsmen.  Groomsmen usually also serve as ushers, and a good guideline is to have one usher for every 50 guests, to help seat guests and distribute programs.

For a less formal event, you can have fewer attendants, or even just chose to have a maid or matron of honor and a best man.

In most cases, the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen are the same, and you can plan to have them process into the wedding in pairs.  However, if you have six close friends that you can’t bear to leave out of your wedding party, but your fianc© has only three that he wishes to include, you can find a way to make it work.  Perhaps each groomsman can escort two bridesmaids, or they could all come in independently.  Don’t worry about making it match if it isn’t meant to be.

It is a good idea to wait until you have decided on the date, location and size of the wedding celebration before inviting your friends to participate in your wedding party. It can be awkward if you have invited all of your attendants and then realize you are going to have a smaller event than originally planned.  You never want to be in a position to have to uninvite an attendant!

For a second wedding, you might choose to have your children as part of the wedding party. Children can also participate in the wedding party as ring bearers or flower girls. Young nieces and nephews can be adorable in these roles.  If your close friends have small children, they could also be candidates to participate in the wedding party.

If you are including small children in your wedding party, you may want to include one of their parents as a bridesmaid or groomsmen, just in case the children experience some nerves on the big day.

You know who your parents are, of course.  But what role do you want them to play in the wedding party? Will your father walk you down the aisle, or would you prefer to walk with both parents?  If you have stepparents, how will they participate in the wedding?

Other ways that friends and family can participate in your wedding party include reading a passage during the ceremony, handing out programs, performing music during the ceremony or reception, and managing some specific area of the wedding. For example, you might choose a friend to be in charge of organizing the gift table.

Choosing ways for those who are closest to you to participate in your wedding party can be some of the most exciting decisions in planning the wedding. Having your friends by your side as you plan and celebrate your special wedding will leave you with priceless memories for years to come.  With a little thought and planning, you can find a special role for all of those special people!

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